Ok. I will admit it. I am a self help book junkie. Ok, maybe self help book isn’t the actual term. I love hearing about those people who couldn’t get their shit together and then did. I guess they are more motivational than self help. Heck, I don’t care what they are called. I am just thankful that they exist.
I work from home with Direct Sales. Unfortunately, when people hear that, opinions start flying. “Oh, you don’t have. a real job?” “ Oh you are one of those people.” “Oh, you don’t look like a direct sales person, I hate people like that.” Wow. First, the fact that we judge others by their job title (or anything for that matter) is disheartening. What really kills me is that first comment. “Will you be getting a real job?” Hmmm, my bank account sure makes me feel like it is a real job every month when my real paycheck is deposited. But hang on, that is not what this is about. I am not here to defend direct sales or working from home. I am here to talk about surrounding your self with positive people.
See, this is where those motivational books come in to play. Being that I am my own boss, I like to challenge myself to read a non-fiction every month. Something that will help my business. I keep finding the same theme in each of these books. Rachel Hollis, (Girl Wash Your Face) , Brenden Burchard (6 Habits of High Achievers), Tony Robbins, etc. All of these coaches are telling us that we need to surround ourselves with positive people. We need to find our squad, our tribe, our circle. We need to remove the toxic and add in the cheerleaders.
This doesn’t mean that we surround ourselves with people who blow smoke and spend their free time praising us. Yes, that should be apart of your circle atmosphere, praising each other when you are killing it (not the smoke blowing). But your squad is so much more. Those are your people. They are the ones who reel you back in when you start to lose yourself. They are there to help lift you up when you are down in the dumps. They celebrate your achievements and are the ones laying down the law when you fail. Our law: go ahead, cry, yell, scream, be angry and blame the world but you only get 30 mins. After that, get it together and get back to the grind. In return for their amazing ability to help you keep it together, you are doing the same for them. They say it takes a village to raise a child. Why does that village disappear when your a grow up? It takes a “village”, i.e, squad, tribe, circle, whatever you call yourselves, to help stay grounded and on task and sane in an insane society.
So what is this tribe? It’s friendship. Real friendship. Back in the day (I swear I am not 80) we actually called each other on the phone and talked. You would walk around the kitchen, wrapping yourself in the phone cord as you helped, cook or clean up after dinner. You told your friends what was happening in your life. You would take pictures when you were together and paste them in a photo album. Sometimes you got creative and even scrapbooked! Now, we have social media. We can take pictures and post them to our online album. We can tag our friends and even do some fun hashtags. We can talk through email, text, messenger, Snapchat and every other social media outlet out there. We can make a post and within second we get a message asking if we are ok. Or you get a fun meme telling you to pull it together. You circle is there for you and you know it.
We need positive relationships to stay grounded and to be successful. We need to know who we can trust in a world of fake faces and wolves in sheep’s clothing. I challenge you to take a good look at who you surround yourself with. Negativity breeds negativity and the same is true for being around positive people. I am so thankful for my circle, my squad and my throuple (don’t worry Shameless fans, it isn’t what you think). They love me and care about me and the feeling is mutual. I have no idea where I would be without them. If you can’t look around and see something good in your relationships, take a step back and reevaluate. Are you the change? Are you the positive? Are they? Are you being pulled down into a negative spiral? Have a conversation with them and see what they think. If things are looking dark, find a light. Find that positive person and start that circle. Start that tribe. You deserve it.